The Twin Flame Experience and Twin Flame Signs

As mentioned previously, Bloomstein’s (2000) phenomenological study, The Soulmate Experience, has already added soulmate love to clinical psychology’s love typologies and has clearly described the attributes of what I interpret to be the Twin Flame experience because they match the attributes other researchers have connected to Twin Flames. Her study was completed before there was as much information about Twin Flames in popular culture as there is today, so she used the term “soulmate” (also designating, “twin souls”). Based on a comparison of her data and other twin flame data now available, she has delineated what I am referring to as “Twin Flames.” The phenomenon needs to be normalized, according to Bloomstein, so that people experiencing these relationships are not ridiculed by disbelievers. People tend to interpret the passion and intensity of the experiences as “obsession,” which diminishes the true nature and purpose of these relationships. Bloomstein suggests rich narratives from around the world are needed to educate people about the relationships. “These narratives will be inspiring and poignant. They will further normalize and popularize the discussion of the important topic in a responsible way” (p. 176). When I first started researching twin flames in early 2009, there was very little information about them and it was quite some time before I found explanations that better distinguished the relationships from soul mates. Now there is an abundance of information on the Internet. The only major difference between the accounts is some claim that one soul has been split into two, whereas other accounts provide that the two souls, female and male, are created simultaneously. I am not sure that distinction is important since it would be very difficult to ascertain one way or another.

Bloomstein (2001) does not discuss in great detail the multidimensional aspects of twin flames, although she presents views by Jewish mystical writings and The Zohar. According to The Zohar, “When their separate learning experiences are complete, and they are ready to  advance to higher spiritual realms, they meet in a final earthly incarnation. . .they have instant recognition and an inner knowing that they have come home to their destined partner” (pp. 171–172). What is not stated here, but is included in the other literature is that they work together at a higher level of consciousness or in the upper dimensions, even though they may not be aware of it, and their major purpose is their shared mission for service (e.g., Green 2006; Brand & Hibbs, 2010).  If they are more fully awakened, they are aware of working together as well as of their past incarnations that have helped them develop the skills they need for their mission. In fact, based on my own memories past lives have been part of the mission. Twin Flames have never been “searching” for each other because they have always known they were connected (e.g., Brand & Hibbs, 2010; Brand, 2011; Green, 2006). In fact, according to most accounts, Twin Flames should not be “looking” for each other at all. They are already connected and they will meet when and if the time is right; they set that date together based on their soul evolution. This preparatory work, which involves self-actualization, would benefit individuals and all of society. Prophet (1999) and Joudry and Pressman (1995) describe this type of work as becoming self-sufficient, less materialistic, more loving, and not needing someone to complete ourselves and is necessary before we can consciously connect to our twin flame.

One of many paradoxes between Twin Flames is that they do not need each other and when they are fully self-sufficient and they don’t need anyone is often when they meet, although circumstances vary greatly (one or both may already be married). According to Joudry and Pressman (1995), often this is when their chosen work converges (p. 120). According to Brand and Hibbs, these couples have advanced from a 7-chakra system to a 12-chakra (energy points) system and they serve as a “template” for what’s to come for future relationships.  There appears to be some kind of connection between frequently seeing the numbers 11 and 12 and the 12-chakra model. This idea of increased numbers of chakras corresponds to indigenous teachings of the Seven Ray Wisdom Knowledges which have recently increased to 11 Rays, with one more Ray to be added soon (Ghost Wolf, 2003). When one reaches “Christ consciousness,” a higher level of consciousness, one becomes aware of the Twelve Rays in which matter exist, according to Ghost Wolf. These Rays each have divine qualities. Theos Sophia (Divine Wisdom Knowledge) is often taught based on these Rays (Argonza 1999; Ghost Wolf, 2003; Prophet, 2003). Ascended Masters are associated with each of the Rays who specialize in the teaching of a particular ray, although the Rays are overlapping in terms of knowledges. Learning about all of the Rays provides balance and wisdom (Argonza, 1999). Ghost Wolf’s account of prophecies indicating that the Rays are increasing in number from seven to twelve correlates with various prophecies and “fourth dimension research,” pointing to evolution in human consciousness (e.g., Argonza, 2000). Twin Flames, purportedly, are forerunners of this event, which will be continuing from this point onward, with more twin flames coming together. Given much of this is esoteric to many people, how do we identify Twin Flames?

There are many signs for Twin Flames and the more of them experienced by a couple, the more likely they are Twin Flames (Green 2006; Bloomstein, 2000; Brand & Hibbs, 2010). Thus, because the Twin Flame phenomenon is one perspective that can shed some light on my perceived “obsession” over Joe and his work, perhaps explain the “oneness” I feel with him and why we serendipitously came together when we did, I will investigate this from multiple lenses. Can this analysis explain the intense bond I felt—and still feel—with him? Does it explain a relationship that, for me, transcends space and time? The Bible attests to the permanence of the bond between these couples: “Therefore what God has joined together, let no man put asunder.” (Matthew 19:6b). It could explain why even though Joe has moved to another dimension, in my interpretation, we are connected and still communicate. We will never be separated according to the literature about Divine Twin Flame Unions and we never have been separated. Life together is experienced as eternal. Twin Flame relationships are transcendental and multidimensional. The Sufi regard twin flame relationships as “a gift,” thus, here is this word, “gift” coming up again in relation to Joe’s work (Joudry and Pressman, 1995). It’s reassuring to finally find explanations that match my experiences.

Twin Flame Similarities: Our Mission Began In Childhood

Twin Flames often have very common life histories.  According to Joudry and Pressman (1995), they often share the same dreams and aspirations, complementary aspects of the work they do, and are similar in intensity of being. The same dreams, aspirations, and related work go without saying.  As far as intensity, I do know that Joe was very intense and, as well, that I have too often heard from men I dated during my life, “You’re too intense.” I didn’t really understand that until I met Joe in person and saw a reflection of my own intensity. I loved his intensity! When he looked at people it was like he could see right into their souls. It’s exactly how I feel when I look into people’s eyes. He just had a lot of love energy flowing through him, which he encourages us all to work toward. Unfortunately, many people are actually turned off by love; I know a number of the men I had dated backed off on account of my “intensity.” It was a blessing to have met Joe and experience the intensity of his love in this dimension, although I still experience that intensity 24/7.

Ariadne Green (2006) who refers to Twin Flames as “Divine Complements” states, “Our Divine Complement is our twin, a spiritual brother or sister. They have a great deal in common with us and are matched in every way to reflect the buried qualities of our internal wholeness. Divine Complements reflect to each other their unique intelligence, aptitudes, talents and styles of relating” (p. 163). According to Joudry and Pressman (1995), “The twin souls’ underlying similarities find a parallel in the case of identical twins who are separated in infancy and adopted by different parents,” (p. 122). When they meet, they find many similar inclinations.

The similarities of our lives are surprising, even though I have scant information about Joe’s history. It surprised even me when I started looking at these things. The information that follows was gleaned from his work and writings about him, and I noticed these things in particular because we had these experiences in common. I have not begun to read all of his work or work published about him because it is so extensive, nor did I do any special research about his history, but I would not be at all surprised to find many more “coincidental” commonalities between our lives. This makes sense if Twin Flames are working together in “unseen” dimensions on their mission at the soul level. They want their experiences to be similar because it brings them closer in their understanding of each other and is an aid in helping each other in soul evolution. Also, because they are sharing a joint service-to-others mission, it becomes important to experience for themselves the oppression, difficulties, and obstacles those people they are serving have experienced. Thus, our similar backgrounds with him being a “hillbilly” and my being a “hick” and growing up midst abject poverty suddenly makes complete sense. We do have some differences, of course, and one of the purposes of Twin Flame reunions is to balance each other’s differences, the strengths and weaknesses. Clearly, he was far more advanced in many ways than I am and he has launched me into a fast track awakening. He has actively been my Spiritual Teacher and Guide. In fact, my recollection is that before even coming to earth, he was my lifetime Master Teacher who I had fallen in love with. When I was old enough, I confessed my love to him. We broke taboo, got married, and then we came together to serve our joint mission on earth. It was partly as a test of our love and to earn sanctioning of our marriage, but it was also an honor and a vote from our people that we would be successful at accomplishing the feat. These are memories that came back to me, with his help, after he passed over. We have lived multiple lifetimes on earth since about 1100 AD (and apparently had lived a previous cycle on Earth before that, including during the time of Atlantis, but I have little memory of those lifetimes at this time). These memories are based on what seem to be actual memories as well as interpretations of dreams, visions, and transmissions (telepathic, remote viewing, and channeled communications) that become “bricolaged” together naturally to make sense. I have very detailed data, but it is beyond the scope for discussing in this bricolage, other than to mention that this process is yet again another application of his bricolage that for me emerged naturally. These types of memories from many people will become highly significant in the future for reconstructing historical accounts, for creating the future, and perhaps even for changing history.

            Mel Brand and Nicole Hibbs (2011), or Goldraytwinflames on YouTube, are a Twin Flame couple who have been researching Twin Flames since 1996, when they first came together. They have produced many informative videos based on their experiences and consultations with other twin flame couples. One very interesting video, “Twin Flames: The Mission Begins in Childhood,” provides an explanation for much of what I had experienced in my own childhood as well as why Joe and I have so many things in common during our childhood and even into adulthood. It also explains why, even though we shared so many things in common, our lives were also balanced by his having stable and progressive parents whereas my childhood was spent being raised in a psychologically disturbed and intolerant family. According to Mel Brand, in this video, twin flames are “here to assist humanity and the evolution of consciousness.” This statement describes Joe’s educational work concisely. It is exactly what his work is about: it shows us how to break free from all of our old programming and take back our power to reconstruct our own consciousness.

Twin flames have already “graduated” from earth school according to Brand’s account, and have been chosen to come back and provide this assistance. They “pre-choose” a particular “soul group” to work with, usually one they have been with before. Thus they choose attributes such as race, culture, location on the planet, and other factors such as ideologies, dogma, and belief systems according to the energetic imprints they wish to dissolve. An important imprint they also want to bring back into balance is sexuality. Brand contends that sexual abuse is present in every family somewhere down the line. It was a major factor in my own life, and Brand’s contention is that Twin Flames, even as children, have the ability to purge these “imprints” even before they become consciously awake. Indeed, this was true in my life. By the time I was in my early twenties, I had remembered, brought to light, and overcome the sexual abuse that had taken place within my family. I think we need to be careful, however, in taking this perspective because it in some sense “enables” sexual abuse, while the purpose of Twin Flames is to obliterate sexual abuse and contribute to returning sacred spiritual sexuality to the status of the divine gift that it is. Free will of the perpetrators in cases of sexual abuse is always a factor, and my pre-choosing to come into such a dysfunctional family could not (and did not) predict the extent of the abuse I was to experience. Nevertheless, I did play a huge role in “clearing” and perhaps correcting the imprints of this family even as a child, which is what Brand conveys in this video.

Other issues in my family that needed to be purged included blatant sexism and racism. Thus, it makes sense that Joe had a family that was very stable, egalitarian, and committed to social justice. This is just one area in which he has balanced my own experiences and where his work and support have been complementary in Green’s (2006) “Divine Complement” sense. It appears that the complementary aspects relate to the Twin Flame shared mission in some very important ways. Brand (2011) points out that we don’t need our Twin Flames to do our mission work. This is important because it explains why, even though evidence indicates that we were connected at higher levels of consciousness, we chose not to unite in this reality. Twin flames are connected in a much higher and divine sense during their entire earth sojourn and their reunion is not about romance, according to Brand. I understand why Brand stresses the mission. He does not want people to get the false notion that it’s all about some inflated idea of romantic love, and in particular sex. People start looking for love for all the wrong reasons. The reality is that it is a very difficult relationship, and it’s especially painful if the couple must remain separate after they become aware of each other. Bloomstein (2000) alludes to that difficulty in her study as she personally experienced that pain in several different contexts in relation to her Twin Flame. However, the unconditional love between twin flames is very real, very powerful and divine, even blissful, as many couples have shared and it aids them in transcending their pain. It is the icing on the cake, and in my own experience, even without physically uniting on the earth plane the love between Twin Flames is sublime. And it is their unconditional love that allows them to be individual, taking their own journey while at the same time they work hand-in-hand helping each other as they fulfill their mission together, all orchestrated from the higher realms. The way this unconditional love paradoxically manifests as unity and, at the same time, an appreciation for individuality is a difficult concept to convey unless one experiences it but it rises to the top as a quintessential characteristic of the Twin Flame relationship. Most everything about Twin Flames is paradoxical.

With that background about how the mission begins in childhood, I present a few of the similarities between Joe’s experiences and my own, even though we did not know each other or meet until 2008. There are more, but, again, page constraints limit my discussion here. The uncanny similarities remind me again of the concept of entanglement. It does appear we were entangled before we had even met which is another indication of working together in the higher realms. Just as a reminder, I did not even know of Joe or his work consciously until about April, 2008 when my educational research led me to his community of practice research site. In fact I had not even begun studying education and pursuing it as a career until 2003 when I began work on my master degree in education. And I did not meet Joe in person until July, 31, 2008. Thus, what follows is a discussion of quite uncanny similarities between our early life histories and our common experiences as adults synthesized with additional supporting material:

Scottish-Irish Heritage. Both Joe and I are of Scottish-Irish heritage and we were also both blond-haired blue-eyed children and could have easily passed as brother and sister. This is based on photos of us each at about 2-3 years of age. We even have the same very serious expression on our faces in the photos.

Surrounded by Abject Poverty. We both grew up surrounded by poverty and had great empathy for children in poverty. He grew up in the Appalachian Mountains of Tennessee with parents who had struggled through the depression; I was raised in the agricultural region of Oregon in the Willamette Valley in a poverty-stricken family and yet had great empathy for children worse off than I was. The first house I remember living in is what I call a “tar-paper shack” and it had no bathroom. Still, my dream was to help the poor. Joe emphasizes the poor throughout his work and the struggle that ensues due to poverty, being of the wrong class and/or race.

            “Nickie” Names. We both had childhood nicknames that end in “ie.” For him, it was “Jodie,” for me it was “Vickie.” As Steinberg (2011a) informs us, “Since he was a junior, he was called Jodie until his thirties” (p. ix). And my birth name had been the nickname, “Vickie.” I grew to dislike the name so much that I legally changed my name on January 31, 1980—just about the same time Joe also was able to finally abandon his nickname. It seems strange. And the strangest part is that, while I have no evidence whatsoever, other than he abandoned his nickname, never published under it, and never even mentioned it in his work that I have seen, I felt that he had hated his nickname as much as I hated mine—or maybe it was vice versa, that feedback loop in his theory.

Significantly, the number 11 appears again for the date my name change became legally effective according to the court documents I have on file: 1-31-1980 = 1-31+198 = 1-22 = 1-11-11. (22 is often interchanged with 11-11 because it is a master number that signifies the spiritual completion which occurs with twin flame reunions). The 911 shows up in the date as well, by keeping the 1’s and 9 and then adding the remaining numbers, 8+3=11, thus creating 9-11-11. This is a sign in retrospect of being a significant spiritual event along my path relating to our Twin Flame relationship. Subsequently, I went through a total of three marriages before ending up with the last name Paradis and thus, my full name, Vanessa Jae Paradis represents my mission (Vanessa = butterfly/Psyche/soul) with Joe (Jae = feminine version of Joe) to create Heaven (Paradis is French for Heaven). Was it truly all coincidence? It looks more like a plan, to me. I confess. Joe and I were working overtime in the higher realms.

            Close in Age. We were both born in the early 1950s (1950 for him; 1953 for me) 2 years, 22 days apart (again 22, also 11-11, twin flame spiritual completion). Also, our birth dates add up to 11. His birth date is 12-14-1950 which adds up to 23 and then 2+3= 5; mine is 10-23-1953 and adds up to 24 and then 2+4= 6. Thus, together, 5+6=11.

            Precocious as Children. We were both precocious as children. I was reading at least some before entering school and no one taught me. I expect the same was true for him, especially since he was truly a genius by all accounts and his mother was a school teacher.

We both also chose “out of the box” projects for science in school. The example he provided that did not go over well with his middle school science teacher was a research project about dreams and consciousness (it was “not science,” he had been told). I was more fortunate: My oceanography teacher accepted my research report about “Atlantis” that referenced Plato’s works. (This is a clue to me that Atlantis is significant to my past).

            Uncle Marvin. We both have an “Uncle Marvin.” For each of us, our Uncle Marvin was highly significant but for different reasons.       

Chose “Teaching” in Early Childhood. We both knew from a very young age (from as early as we could remember) that we wanted to be teachers. He writes of this. I remember daydreaming as young as three years old of becoming a teacher and when my four brothers would allow it, I practiced.

            Same Date, Same Chords. At the exact same time he was teaching himself to play piano, I was teaching myself to play an organ.         

11 Years Old and the Move to the “City”. His family moved him from a very rural area to a mid-sized town (Kingsport, TN) when he was 11 years old; my family moved me from a very rural area to a mid-sized town (Corvallis, OR) when I was 11 years old. (There are 11s again).  I like the way the abbreviations for our respective states come together: TORN. And he of course, was near the East Coast and I was near the West Coast.

            Fought for the “Underdogs” of Society. From very early ages, we both were impassioned toward people less fortunate. We both would literally stand up and fight for the “underdog.” I still do and his work is a grand representation of how he has stood up for those who are oppressed.

            Jazz, Soul, Blues, and African American Culture. We both had immersed ourselves in African American culture and music during our early teens and onward, even though we both lived in towns in which African Americans were truly a very small minority of the population.

            Native American Culture Immersion. We both had been immersed in Native American culture and had taught for reservations. He actually lived on a reservation; I taught online. Also, my stepfather was half Cherokee. He had become my “real” father in my eyes, and his worldview as influenced by his Cherokee mother had a major healing effect for me after the traumatic earlier life experiences with my biological father and other relatives.

Remarried in 1990: Same Date, Same “Place”. According to the literature, he was married for the second time July 9, 1990 (Steinberg, 2011b). I also was married for the second time in July, 1990. We both married in our home states on courthouse lawns. There are many synchronicities with this event relating to 11, 911, and a Sacred Vow (which is discussed later). It seems that we had made the decision together in the higher realms based on the data I have and a Sacred Vow that had been transmitted to me a year prior. It is also significant in relation to his work, a book he published in 1991 and the mission he had set out for himself as well as a mission that had been set out for me. There is much more to analyze here, but it will have to be saved for another time at which time, I expect the analysis will become very significant. The marriages resulted in us each being parents to two boys and two girls.

            Alma Maters: Orange and Black. Our favorite football teams are our alma maters and both teams’ colors are orange and black with white as an accent color. His is the Tennessee Volunteers from University of Tennessee, the state he was raised in. Mine is the Beavers from Oregon State University, also the state I was raised in. Steinberg (2011b) reports that his other favorite team was the Braves. Humorously, the letters in Braves can be rearranged to nearly spell Beavers: “Beavrs.” I have also read that Joe and Norman Denzin had serendipitously met at the Beaver Club (midst beaver pelts) at the Queen Elizabeth hotel in Montreal for sweet rolls (Denzin, 2010a, p. 363). Something’s going on here (Queen Elizabeth is relevant in this story).

            The Day We Met: Twins in Blue. On the day I met Joe, I was trying to decide whether to wear a black and white dress or a “country blue” print dress. I decided on the blue print dress and my dress matched the shade of blue of his tee-shirt that day, thus we “matched” in the one and only photo I have of us together. (The women I met were dressed in black and white).
            Unconditional Service to a Greater Cause. We were both dedicated to the same mission and we have both served others unconditionally in some capacity our entire lives.

            Hopeless Romantics? I really think it’s clear by our writings, which are driven by love and passion, that we are both what some people would call “hopeless romantics.”

            Highly Empathic. Being an empath can take its toll because it can lead to taking on other people’s pain. I literally hurt physically if I see someone injured, for example, and emotionally if they are hurt emotionally. I saw this quality clearly in Joe. Pinar (2010) described how Joe took things to heart that other people let slide off like water on a duck’s back. I can relate to why Joe had that quality. It’s very difficult when one is of the mindset that if more people would get in there and change things that aren’t right the world would be a better place.

            Shared Worldview. We share a worldview – a more holistic, global view that is philosophically eclectic which he describes in his book, Critical Constructivism.

            As can be seen by this discussion which is based on very little information since I did no special research for it, there are an amazing number of similarities and synchronicities between us. There are more analyses that I have completed for these and much more data that could be obtained, but I have limited the list to make the point that even though we did not know each other and even though the data is scant, there are similarities and synchronicities beyond what would be expected. As Green (2006) describes for Divine Complements, and Joudry & Pressman (1995) describe for Twin Souls they compare to identical twins who have been separated and yet are still amazingly similar. It would be interesting to learn more about his history. Would there be more similarities between us? Did we play together as children under the weeping willow trees? As far as differences (because these are how twin flames balance each other), he was far more advanced in his education, spiritual development, his love for public speaking, his ability to work with people, and his negotiating abilities. But then, that correlates with my memories before this lifetime; he is very advanced spiritually. What do I bring to the table? I don’t know yet. Perhaps given he was the philosopher and theorist, I bring application, although he did great with application as well and I learned so much from him.

Similarities are only one dimension of Twin Flame relationships, which proves nothing in isolation, although they do hint at the multidimensionality of the relationship. More is needed. As Kincheloe and Einstein both tell us: the more perspectives the better. Thus, next is an analysis of other, perhaps less obvious Twin Flame signs.

Undeniably Present: More Twin Flames Signs

When I first began this study, I had no knowledge about Twin Flames and when I was prompted to research this topic, information was difficult to find. I was confused for a long time between soul mates and Twin Flames. Today there are many sites that list Twin Flame signs. According to Brand & Hibbs (2010), the signs have been known and have not changed for 50 years and because these relationships are changing and evolving, it’s important to update them. Thus, they provide additional information with the work they do as a Twin Flame couple. During my research I closely analyzed more than 40 signs discussed in various articles and have identified all of them in the context with my relationship with Joe. Because the individual signs are covered elsewhere, for brevity, I will not include a discussion of each and merely note that every twin flame sign has been experienced. I have covered some of them throughout this dissertation and they are also encapsulated within the themes and essential structures for twin flames/souls that Bloomstein (2000) identified in her phenomenological study, which are discussed next.

Bloomstein’s (2000) “Essential Structures” for Soulmates (Twin Flames)

The following is a brief synopsis of an evaluation of my Twin Flame experience based on Bloomstein’s (2000) findings. Again, there are more details, but I have condensed the discussion here. Bloomstein had conducted a rigorous phenomenological study that confirms these relationships and the features as described. I have determined by comparing her findings with other lists of the signs of Twin Flames, that what she is really describing in her study is Twin Flames, sometimes referred to as twin souls and twin rays. She has concluded that her research is rigorous, and the results are valid, reliable, and generalizable. That would imply that if there is evidence in my life of these themes and essential structures she found in her study, which there are, an interpretation that Joe and I are Twin Flames may be validated.

The sixteen themes identified include: (1) ease of adjustment; (2) effortless communication; (3) common interests; (4) trust; (5) mutual growth; (6) physical compatibility; (7) the mystical/numinous component; (8) oneness/individuality; (9) soul maturation; (10) pre-determination; (11) synchronicity; (12) reincarnation; (13) paranormal communication; (14) all-encompassing nature of the relationship; (15) complete self-enclosedness; and (16) use of metaphors (Bloomstein, 2000, p. 174).

I have thoroughly analyzed all 16 themes and they all appear to a highly significant degree within my documented phenomenological experiences as well as they are included among the other signs posted on various Internet sites that confirm the relationship to the Twin flame phenomenon. The following discussion covers the four “essential structures of the soulmate experience” Bloomstein (2000) had identified in her study (p. 174).  These provide additional weight to my interpretation of experiencing a Twin Flame relationship with Joe. Thus, the four essential structures for Twin Flames include: (1) pre-determination; (2) a shared experience of the numinous; (3) metaphysical communication; and (4) the relationship is all-encompassing (p. 174–175).

Pre-determination. This has been demonstrated in various ways throughout the dissertation and more evidence will be provided. What really convinced me that we had planned our destiny very early-on was the discovery of our Sacred Vows, which is discussed later, and how our experiences in our childhood and even adulthood had paralleled until our paths converged. It became clear that we were communicating and planning in the upper realms. Also, a few weeks of working with him and before I met him, I had informed another blogger on Joe’s website that I was going to meet him but it was in my mind at the time an expression of my wish to meet him. I did not consciously know that the opportunity was coming up (I learned a few weeks later that he was going to be in Western Canada, so I did drive up there to meet him). It seemed very much pre-determined and at the same time serendipitous.

Metaphysical Communication. We could read “between the lines” and often our communication was brief yet held depth of meaning. I always understood him perfectly; he knew me even from a psychological basis and always knew exactly what to say to provide relief when issues came up for me. He picked up my emotions from a distance even when we were not in communication. As some of the examples in this study present, he could read my mind and had contacted me on several occasions indicating he may have had telepathic or at least a highly empathic connection with me. I felt I knew him very well, his strengths and his weaknesses. There was a deeper level to our conversations. Even after his passing, I feel I have connection and communication with him.

            A Shared Experience of the Numinous. While he was here we shared mystical experiences and I literally “felt” his presence from a distance, as I’ve discussed. Ironically, it appears to me that his being on the other side has given us more power to enhance each other; this is something I have not seen covered in the research anywhere and it warrants further study. Before he passed over, I experienced a “consciousness merging” as discussed elsewhere in this dissertation and as has been discussed by Bloomstein (2000) and other sources, this is a twin flame sign. I had been very confused by it at first because I was having difficulty distinguishing his thoughts from my own, but this is resolving itself due to the next theme, which relates to the paradox between increased oneness and increased individuality.

            All-encompassing Nature of the Relationship. From the moment I walked in on his research website, I felt I had found my “place.” It really was one of the most enjoyable experiences of my life. I had devoted untold hours writing for the site, sharing in his passionate mission. Even now, after his passing, he is my life; the mission occupies my complete attention and devotion. I really have no interest in anything but research and writing to demonstrate ways to apply his theory. He has repeatedly let me (spiritually) know he’s with me even during the most mundane of experiences and he supports me in an instant if I need him. This support can be shown phenomenologically in many ways and is documented. I know with a comfortable level of certainty he lives on and we are together—and it is much more than just in “Spirit” as so many accounts put out. There is so much we have not been told about reality and so much research to do. He has increased his power by many magnitudes. I am absolutely devoted to him for eternity; it can be no other way, nor would I wish for it to be. Related to this, Bloomstein (2000) cites Eric Fromm from his 1989 book, The Art of Loving: “What one gives to the other is one’s self. One gives that which is alive inside. This is the gift of love. One gives of one’s life. One gives joy, understanding, knowledge, humor, and sadness. All these manifestations also bring something to life within the other.”

To conclude this analysis, I have only touched briefly on a few examples in the above discussion. I have completed additional analyses which simply cannot be included here. The more detailed examples spread throughout this dissertation which are backed up with correlating data will add weight to the verification of these four attributes as well as the 16 dimensions Bloomstein (2000) has delineated. Additional data and analyses may or may not add weight to the interpretation, but provide material for some amazing “mystories” that could help educate (remind) people about divine love and spiritual marriage. It seems to me that due to the powerful nature of these relationships and the significance they have for the future, it should be considered urgent to learn more about them in all of their multidimensional aspects. In my interpretation, this is what is most essential about his work. We must all get Sacred Love, Eros Love, figured out to guide us in correct actions. My relationship with Joe positively extends past any “rational” or FIDURODian means of explanation and the power of love is indescribable. Dante, according to Bloomstein (2000), had a similar experience with his twin flame, Beatrice, who also had passed over. They had not been married either, and Beatrice had been married to someone else but, nevertheless, “Dante, considered a mystic, understood that their souls were so bound together, that even death did not have the power to separate them” (p. 36). It is exactly as I experience; it might be described as an intense form of “quantum entanglement.” But it is not happenstance. Thus, Bloomstein’s study is helpful in understanding and confirming Twin Flame relationships, but much more research is needed for these very complex relationships. We need greater understanding about the multidimensional aspects, past and future lifetimes, the transcendence of space and time, and so much more. This will require the exact kind of research the multidimensional critical complex bricolage spells out. We will need more “mystories,” and studies of the phenomenological, the psychological and knowledge from the past and future about these relationships. In the future, most Twin Flames will be working together across dimensions rather than being present in the same dimension, according to Detweiler (2011a), but it is clear from my experience, the veils between the dimensions are very thin or at least can be. I like to believe the accounts that predict they will dissolve completely, thus uniting “Heaven” and Earth. Nevertheless, much as is believed in Jewish traditions, our purpose on earth is to do the work toward creating Heaven.  

The Kabbalists view these Twin Flame relationships as destined and as a divine source of radiant love energy for the cosmos (Bloomstein, 2000). “The experience of the reunification of two separate halves presages the mystic reunification of the Divine” Bloomstein (2000) explains (p. 148). Bloomstein also addresses the paradoxical relationship between the unity achieved by these couples and yet their increased individuality. “The paradox of the soulmate relationship,” she contends, “is that while one and one makes a new one, one and one remain an authentic two. The two are paradoxically catapulted on the path to individuation by their experience of indivisibility” (p. 150). The Vedic model of actualization also supports this. The couple must each reach a higher consciousness before uniting, after which they are propelled into the superconsiousness and the intuitive plane. They continue to develop increasing telepathic and other psychic abilities as they both evolve to higher levels of consciousness, the divine and celestial planes (Saraydarian, 1993). They also reunite with their soul families and soul groups as they evolve spiritually, all working together to fulfill their missions.

The Divine Complement

Adriadne Green (2006) also provides criteria that help one determine if a Twin Flame reunion has occurred. Her criteria are based on her personal relationship with her Twin Flame as well as her experience counseling Twin Flame couples, and her education in the Divine Sciences. Due to page constraints, I will not list all of them here. For the most part, the signs are a repeat of the signs which can be found by searching for “twin flame signs” but expanded according to Divine knowledges. She describes, “The binary dance of the male and female polarities coupled with the push of God’s grace has the creative potential and intelligence to create spheres and worlds of its own” (p. 28). And she clarifies that although no one on earth has achieved this kind of power, “many have achieved enlightened states and empowered themselves to create small miracles within a limited field of manifestation. In fact, the co-creative design between twin souls creates their reunion through this field of harmony. Synchronicities and serendipitous experiences are the result of the creative experience of this unified intelligence” (pp. 28–29). Thus, Green presents a slightly different “archetype” based on Divine Principles than the Tarot card archetype discussed previously.

Signs of Twin Flame Reunion. The reunion of twin flames is a process rather than an instantaneous event, and while it is rapid and undeniable in the early phase, it also is an eternal process. As I have learned, the couple does not need to be in the same dimension to experience (or continue) this process. Brand and Hibbs (2010) present a list of “The Signs and Symptoms of Awakened & Fused Twin Flames” on their website, www.twinflames.ca. Due to evidence I’ve presented in this study as well as the fact that he wrote the books on consciousness evolution and developed the process to help people with this, it seems almost absurd to have to say that Joe was awake when we were working together, but sometimes the obvious must be stated. In other words, he knew what our true relationship was, in my interpretation. I was still asleep and only semi-conscious of the relevance of my experiences and I missed most of his clues—and yes, as I look back with open eyes, he had given me many clues. I have lost track of how many times I regressed into a multi-day crying spell after having discovered yet another message from him that had gone over my head when he had sent it to me. I can only speak from my personal experience and interpretations, however, since he is not here to confirm or disconfirm, and readers are free to make up their own minds. If I am wrong about my interpretations, well, at least I am creating a beautiful love story and we sure need more of those in this thanatos world.

Thus, now I can look back and observe that my reunion with Joe began before he passed over. The early sign was a spontaneous Kundalini rising, which is typically one of the first signs (Joudry & Pressman, 1995). I had no clue what I was experiencing, but at the time I associated it with Joe. I was not a “spiritual” person and had no knowledge of these matters. It was months after he passed over before I discovered there was even a word for the experience. Another major sign was the feeling of our consciousnesses merging as described earlier. It is difficult to communicate that feeling, other than there was a definite sensation of merging with him and, following that, it became very difficult for me to separate his ideas from mine. It was so profound that, as I discussed previously, I had even written about how I was having difficulty separating his ideas from mine in the preface for the book I was writing for him. In it, I expressed my fears of “plagiarism” and explained that the entire book would be based on his theory. In my naiveté I had sent him this preface to review. I regret that now because I feel so bad that I was so stupid. It had to have been difficult for him, although there are signs that he found humor in the situation. In his email back to me, it didn’t seem to bother him about my inability to sort our thoughts; he seemed genuinely pleased with what I had written. I know he did want to see his work being applied, which was to be the purpose of the book. But why are people being kept as ignorant as I was about Divine Love? Sex as a mechanical act can be taught in school, but not Divine Spiritual Love. What is the purpose of this? Is it all about privilege, power, control, and material greed? It is not at all that people are not capable of understanding these things.

When Joe passed away, I literally felt a part of me had also passed away. And yet, our reunion process and my spiritual development continued and went into fast forward after he passed over. The first sign that we were still connected was when I felt the flow of what some people may term the “Holy Spirit” enter and surround me, as I have described earlier. I had literally interpreted it as him returning to me. From that point on, the phenomenological experiences are so numerous that they are difficult to summarize. Reunion, I believe is an eternal process because as the couple merges, their consciousnesses continue to evolve and they both continue to grow individually; they are still two, thus, their learning, including about each other, and their spiritual growth continue. The experience was extremely intense in the early stages because, in my interpretation, we both had many emotions to work through and it seemed they required immediate attention. The biggest difficulty was that I did not understand what was happening or that we were affecting each other in some negative ways. It appears the popular contention that twin flames feel each other’s emotions is true. We worked through them relatively quickly. A few of these experiences are described in this dissertation, but there were also some significant past life experiences we had to work through. He guided me superbly with his great knowledge of the proper use of psychoanalysis and past/future life “regressions.” He helped me remember various incidents in the lifetimes we shared so that we both could transmute and transcend the emotions. These activities are supported in the psychological profession. Past life regression therapy, and more recently future life progression therapy, are known to help people transmute emotions they’re experiencing in the present (Weiss, 1988, 1997, 2004). There are many other benefits as well, but the bottom line is the importance of the immense love. “Love continues on the other side and is brought back here by the soul. It is the understanding of all mysteries,” Weiss illuminates (2004, p. 196).

Another gift that helped transmute the powerful emotions I was experiencing after Joe passed over is what I called “the purple light” when it first began happening. Again, I did not know until later after I had done extensive research that it is referred to as the Violet Flame (Prophet, 1998). When I read on spiritual websites or in books of people having to “invoke” the violet flame, I found that strange since I never had to invoke anything. It makes me believe that the spiritual path is more natural than being a process we need to control and commandeer, but the path is different for everyone. When the purple light appeared to me (which happened often the first year of this process), I recognized that it was extremely rejuvenating and melted away all of my fears and anxieties. As I finish this writing, I happened to have come across a better description of the Violet Flame:

Use of the "Violet Flame of Divine Love" is considered to be the 7th Ray aspect of the Holy Spirit and the "Sacred Fire" that transmutes and consumes the "cause, effect, record, and memory" of sin or negative karma. Also called the "Flame of Transmutation", the "Flame of Mercy", the "Flame of Freedom", and the "Flame of Forgiveness". "Our God is a Consuming Fire" in Deuteronomy 4:24 (KJV) and Hebrews 12:29 (KJV) is believed to be refer to this "Sacred Fire of God".

The "Violet Fire" is held to be a raising, transforming, purifying action of "Divine Love" from the "Heart of God" in the "Great Central Sun". It acts to transmute and consume human creation that is not worthy of becoming Immortal, and all negative karmic causes, effects, records, and memories, without the need to individually balance that karma face-to-face with each person back to the earliest beginning of one's individualized manifestation on this or any other world. (Wikipedia, 2012. “Ascended Master Teachings”)

I had always attributed this light to being a gift from Joe because I sensed his presence at the same time and we would engage in telepathic communications as I absorbed the indescribably beautiful violet light, usually while I was soaking in the bathtub. I could readily perceive the enormous benefit it had for transmuting my negative emotions, fears, and anxieties even though at the time I had no idea what the light represented. This experience corresponds to the earlier cited Bible verses from the Catholic religion describing the Holy Spirit as both man and God; Holy Spirit, even if embodied as man, would have this power to bring the divine gift, the violet flame. It also corresponds to the earlier citation by Osahon (2009), in which he describes transmutation through alchemy as being the only known means for spiritual development, a closely guarded secret. It also corresponds to Divinity teachings of “Divine Complements” or Twin Flames by Green (2006) and with another verse in the Bible to which I was serendipitously led to as completing this writing. Jesus reportedly states: “When He, the Spirit of truth, has come, He will guide you into all truth; for He will not speak on his own authority, but whatever He hears. He will speak; and He will tell you things to come. He will glorify Me, for He will take what is Mine and declare it to you. All things that the Father has are Mine. Therefore I said that He will take of Mine and declare it to you.”  (John 16:13–14). There is much more to this interpretation. In John 15 and 16, Jesus speaks of not being “of this world” and that He has chosen us. Because he has chosen us, we are hated by the world, but he was hated by the world first (an indication of his empathy). He had to leave the world so that he can send us a Helper (our Twin Flame?) from the Father who will bring the Spirit of Truth. We are to bear fruit (the Great Mission?), but we will be guided so that we won’t stumble (Master Teachers?). It’s very difficult to put this all together; I am still seeking understanding but it sounds like a description of Dharma or the metaphor I’ve been using throughout—the quest for the Golden Chalice. Who is this “Helper?” Would it be our Twin Flame?

I wish to emphasize, however, that the Bible verses are almost always just “handed down” to me in very serendipitous ways, which is why I find them to be significant. I am not religious (in a fundamentalist sense), nor do I read the Bible regularly, nor do I search for Biblical explanations. They just keep popping up during this research and so I pay attention to them. The bricolage does not throw out consideration of religious texts—bricoleurs use whatever comes their way in order to gain more insight or additional perspectives. There is wisdom contained within the Bible, even though it has been altered for power and control. For example, the King James Version of the Bible, one of the most popular versions, was “translated” by Sir Francis Bacon in 1611 with Masonic supervision for King James I “to support the authority of a King,” (Loosley, d.u.). It seems, based on interpretations coming out in this study that great secrets are hidden within the Bible but at the same time, there is misinformation. For example, there are many who believe that Jesus did not really exist and Hagins (2012) shows that, historically, Jesus had been invented by the Catholic Church. I have often wondered how so many could truly be the “Bride of Christ.” Are we being thrown off our true Dharma Paths? Perhaps Bacon, along with the Masons, tried to obfuscate the truths hidden in his interpretation from the public with the special form of English he had developed while writing the Bible, but the higher level Masons and Rosicrucians, among others in Secret Societies, were taught the truths. This interpretation can be supported based on the Masonic and Rosicrucian symbols used in the texts (the works of Shakespeare are also believed to have been written by Bacon).

Thus, my experience with the “Holy Spirit” and “trinity union” simply does not match the account that is put out in Christian churches, but does correlate with some of the more esoteric verses in the Bible from which a different “truth” emerges. For me, it felt to be a natural experience rather than a religious experience, however. For example, as extensively documented in my journals, we had both been put through some challenging “initiations” early-on as a test of our love to ensure that we would be able to work together across the dimensions. These happened right after he passed over, but we came through them with even greater love. These incidents seemed very real to me—more real than this crazy third dimension earth life. Again, the data is extensive and it’s beyond the scope here to cover our emotional ups and downs, trials and tribulations. As strange as this seems, our relationship is somewhat like any husband and wife relationship, except that the love is so profound and deeply spiritual that we do not lose patience or become angry with each other. There may have been a couple of times when we became a little frustrated with each other or did not clearly understand each other, early on, but they were always resolved immediately, and now there are never any conflicts. He has had enormous patience with me. In fact, I feel remorse for it taking me so long to figure this out and to overcome the power FIDUROD has over me. It’s been a struggle and I still struggle with it. I struggle with this dissertation in that regard: What do I reveal? What do I leave out? I happen to know Joe wants it ALL out on the table, but he knows as bold as I am and as far I have come, even I am not ready for that. I truly hope with time the day will come that people can speak of these relationships across dimensions with no reservation or that the dimensions come together—that everyone’s perceptions open up enough to perceive them.

In my interpretation, no matter whether the Twin Flame reunion takes place on earth or across dimensions, each has their unique set of difficulties that the couple must work through. I would not say one scenario is easier than the other. My entire experience was one of having no explanation for what I was experiencing and then being actively guided to whatever sparse information there was to explain it, which is why more research and information available to the public would be helpful. And of course, I receive much information telepathically as well, but there are limitations as far as what can come through. I still have blinders. FIDUROD is alive and well. At times, I have been literally flooded with information, too much to take in, some of which is contained in my blogs as well as my journals or saved in documents on my computer. Like other twin flame relationships, interdimensional relationships need to be “normalized” so that people are not ostracized, particularly since it is believed they are on a “Divine Commission” and these relationships will be more frequent in the coming years (Journal Entry, December 17, 2012; Keylontic Dictionary, 2012; Detweiler, 2012). If everyone were to become conscious of the spiritual dimension of relationships and base their actions on this superb form of love the world would change in some amazing ways; it’s the first step in creating a better world. I am not “there” yet, myself by any means, but I can “see” how that could be and I continue to work toward that goal. Joe is the one who had love figured out, which is why I gave him the title Eros, the God of Love. I am just a mere Hicksville earthling, Psyche, and still trying to learn about love.

The 11-11 Phenomenon in Retrospect. After doing extensive research about the 11-11 phenomenon because I was experiencing it so often, I found that it is especially prominent between twin flame/soulmate couples. Brand and Hibbs (2010) indicate seeing 11-11 and 12-12 frequently is a reflection of the higher frequency or higher consciousness twin flames experience. On a publicly-accessible website that captures data about twin flames through volunteer surveys, the participants are asked if they notice the 11-11 phenomenon. Examining the data that had been collected from April, 2008 through April 28, 2011, 120 out of 160 respondents reported that it was noticed frequently (75%). Of the respondents who did not report seeing this sign in their lives (25%), most reported they did not notice the sign rather than a “no” answer. The respondents are primarily from the United States, but also include participants from many other countries. Most frequently the dates Twin Flames meet or their birthdates are some configuration of 11 and only noticed in retrospect since most of them, as had happened in my case, were not aware of the phenomenon at the time. The 11 representing twin flames makes sense since each 1 represents the male or female aspect of the twin couple. Another interpretation that recognizes the power of the twin flame relationship is that the number 11 represents the sum of the two: 1+1=11. Thus, their reunion gives them 11 times more power, although it’s just symbolism, of course. It coincides with the Hermetic principle, “the whole is greater than the sum of the parts.” Often pairs of double digits, such as 11-11 and 12-12, are interpreted as “gateways,” which in themselves have multiple interpretations based on calendar dates, spiritual progress, the progress of kundalini energy, or the couple’s shared mission plan.

Is 11-11 some kind of sacred code that marks the path for Twin Flames? In my experience, I would have to say yes due to the frequency I have experienced the phenomenon and due to the significance of the events connected to the occurrences. George Mathieu Barnard (2004, 2010) refers to 11:11 as “a celestial/mortal alliance” and has worked with advanced celestial Spirit Guides for more than forty years. He states, “The brilliantly minded 11:11 Spirit Guardians are seeking worldwide human involvement for their task of promoting planetary progress and greater spiritual awareness” (2010, p. xiv). The appearances of 11:11 serve as prompts, according to Barnard, and that is how I usually interpret them. The phenomenon itself entails continuously noting 11s and 11-11s on addresses, license plates, phone numbers, receipts, dates, and in particular, on digital clocks that seem to impart a sense of importance or profundity of an experience. Sometimes it may also appear as 22 which is considered a Master Number signifying spiritual completion that occurs through reunion.

I began noticing this phenomenon several months into my research and, of course, once I noticed it, I was psychologically drawn to seeing the number. After a time, there was no question in my mind as to its significance and what’s interesting is that when I backtracked and examined my data for the number 11, it appears serendipitously in astronomical proportions in places I had not noticed—for example on signs I had photographed on treasure hunts, in my address, and in emails and forum discussions with Joe. The more I examined the data, the more I found it, and it was invariably related to something significant such as my mission path or some very significant communications.  I have analyzed many of my communications with Joe and most have encoded numerical messages in context with important verbal messages. In my interpretation, this indicates that we were communicating on two levels, and I believe he was conscious of the other level; I was not, except that I always “felt” like there was something “weird” about my communications with him. Have you ever said something to someone and “felt” like it had two meanings, the superficial meaning but something else that you didn’t quite comprehend? That’s how I often felt when communicating with Joe. I was on the edge of consciousness.

I discovered that one of the most precious emails he had sent me shortly before he passed over was encoded with 11’s. He had told me, “You are a wonderful and treasured one. You have made such a powerful impact on not only on the freire site but the crit ped community. You are doing and will do great things.” The message made me cry because he was telling me this after I had made a horrible (but innocent) blunder from a socio-political perspective. I just was not aware of the political nature of critical pedagogy (the thought seemed like an oxymoron to me at the time and still does). An analysis of the email reveals the following:

Date and Time Received: 11-29-2008 9:28 pm

11-11-10-19  = 11-11-10-10 = 11-11-11. It can also be interpreted as 11-11-11-9. There are other interpretations which can add more dimensions to the interpretation, but I learned in all of the analyses I completed of our conversations that the 11’s and 911’s appeared most frequently and are highly significant. Interestingly, the 11-11’s did not end for this message. When I received the email, I was very upset that he had been pulled into an issue that should have simply come to me, not him, so I didn’t answer his email right away as I usually did. I felt his pain, or at least what I had imagined to be his pain. I just could not see how it wouldn’t hurt on some level for someone to take issue with giving him recognition for his work on his website and requesting that it be taken down, which relates to why he had sent me the email. He knew (and probably felt, due to our connection and past experiences) that I would be very upset. It was the second time it had happened and both times I was not aware there was anything at all wrong with what I had posted and I was devastated that what I did potentially caused him pain. Maybe it was just my imagination, but it was absolutely the last thing I wanted to do to him. I sensed that he was under enormous stress and I in no way wanted to burden him further. This sounds obsessive and if it had been anyone else it would have been obsessive. This was different, as I know now, because the emotions between twin flames go out the roof, so to speak. They feel each other’s emotions and this can actually set up a feedback loop that intensifies them, which I didn’t know at the time, of course. I had been observing for months by that point how he stayed so kind to everyone and I was just overwhelmed and highly disturbed by the politics of critical pedagogy, an area of education that is supposed to be open and tolerant—and how he always got pulled into any issue no matter how immature and petty. So this time, I was too upset to answer his email; I needed time. But apparently he was either worried, felt my emotions, or just wanted to make sure I had received the email, so he sent the same email again from a different email address, saying that he had been having problems with the university email going through and that I may not have received it. This time there were even more 11s conveying an even more powerful message.

First, in the subject of the email, which struck me as being very strange for him, he had simply typed “hello” which translates to 11 (the letter “l” also represents the number 1). There are other possible interpretations for use of the word “hello” because Joe always had multidimensional meanings to what he wrote (his “magic” with words). Was he telling me his life was hell? It was exactly what I had sensed and why I was so upset. I know he was struggling with some major issues relating to his work (and I had no strong evidence of that; it was primarily based on intuition). I don’t know what the big issues were because I only heard about what I deemed were ridiculously petty issues. I learned later that he planned to leave the university after his Jamaican vacation and look for work elsewhere and it corresponds to what I was sensing at the time (Steinberg, 2011a). Before he left for vacation I sensed he was finished with the project (perhaps our communications in the higher realms?) but I didn’t know why. It totally tugs at my heart to know he was having such a hard time because he was the last person who should have been struggling and suffering, given all that he had contributed. Despite it all he still stayed so compassionate, worrying about me and taking the time to make sure I had received this email telling me I did not need to apologize for what others had regarded as “transgressions,” and to tell me how wonderful I was at the same time: “you are so much appreciated and so brilliant and wonderful, there is absolutely, positively no need for apology,” his email began (yes, I had apologized to him, of course). It literally had made me cry because I wanted so badly for things to go smoothly for him. I was aware of how much he sacrificed for other people, how hard he had worked for forty years, and I only wanted to be an aide for him, not cause more problems. Whenever something like this came up I felt devastated, not for me, but for him. I hope this does sound obsessive to people.

Here is the analysis from that email, one of the last emails I would receive from him; he passed away 19 days later:

Title of Email: Hello = 11 and also Hell

Date and Time Received: 11-30-2008 7:45   

Aalysis:11-3-10-7-9 = 11-10-10-9 = 11-11-9 and thus, with the “ll” from “hello” it becomes11-11-11- 9.

The 9 as represented by 4+5 in the time the email was sent is significant because it signifies completion. 7 is considered the most sacred of all numbers and universally represents God or Higher/Spiritual Power which unites the twin flame couple to form a trinity union. 11-11-11 also represents the trinity union of the twin flame couple. Trinity or the third power is reiterated in the number 3 that appears in the day of the month. 

Joe also mentions the 9/11 twin tower tragedy in his work and has encoded a discussion of the incident, which will be shown later. The 9 as combined with 11 denotes a sense of urgency to his email, and I felt that sense of urgency in the second email when I received it, especially combined with the “hell” in the subject of the email. The 9-11 numbers were also present in the first email. Something was going on. It seems like a code to try and wake me up or notify me of something urgent. The fact that the 9-11 code is reversed in the numbers with 11 being at the front and 9 being at the end is significant as well. 119 is the emergency number in Jamaica, where he went for vacation and where he passed away. The codes and the urgency with which he had wanted me to get this message (sending it twice) help explain why I felt so distressed when I learned he had traveled to Jamaica; I was not consciously aware that he was planning on traveling there. I was prepared for an emergency. It saddens me today that I was not able to read his codes or his clues. I felt them, because I was worried the entire time he was there, but I was unconscious. Even though he may not have been aware of the number codes, I now know he had sent me many messages that were hard to miss had I been awake. In one of his very last facebook messages he signed off, “Sleepless in Montreal,” which, of course references the love story in the movie, “Sleepless in Seattle.” I really wish I had emailed him in Jamaica and urged him to see a doctor. I felt that I should not disturb him at all on his vacation, so I didn’t.

 I feel now that he was trying to get me to wake up but trying not to break some tacit rules while doing so. It really is like the story of Psyche and Eros. I, Psyche, was very much asleep. Eros, the God of Love was trying to awaken me with his magic, the magic of his words. I only discovered these codes recently and the multidimensionality of our communication, as I delved into this analysis, and the more I research it, the more I find and the more meaning I extract from them. There will be many more discoveries long after the publishing of this dissertation as I continue to analyze rest of the data. Green (2006) notes this phenomenon with twin flames in which much of their communication with each other is telepathic and beneath the level of conscious awareness, stating, “Synchronicities can appear like heaven-sent messages about the future we have planned with our soul mate. They most often aren’t recognized or understood until after the fact, but when we begin to compare notes, we may discover that destiny was leaving a trail of clues years before” (p. 15).

Subconsciously, I knew the code, however. I must have! In the return email I sent him, I had made a statement, “I trust your judgment completely,” and I knew it had some sort of significant meaning, that it was an important communication to him in relation to the urgency of the email he had sent me, and also that I just wanted him to know I totally trusted him in every way. I was on the edge of awakening. I had this impending feeling of doom and of having a very short time to work with him, a feeling that had been with me right from the beginning, when I first started working on his website. Now, it was a really dark cloud was hanging overhead and panic was in my heart. The email I sent back to him was also numerically encoded:

11-30-2008 9:02   = 11-3-10-11  = 11 3 111 (and, again, the 119 configuration is present).

The code is my confirmation to him of our Twin Flame reunion and that I was still with him, even though I was not conscious of the message, and that I recognized our trinity union and third power. Trinity is a universal symbol. In Christianity, it represents the union with the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost. But as Green (2006) points out, Christianity only presents part of the picture. It leaves us incomplete and it is no wonder the world is crippled when it comes to love. There are numerous symbols representing the trinity union, including the Celtic triskele, the Sacred Heart of Jesus, the Star of David/Sign of Solomon, the Fleur-de-lis, the yin-yang, and others. In reality, it is an ancient symbol that has had the true meaning obfuscated down through the years and this obfuscation has kept people from their greatest source of power—Divine Love.

The textual messages exchanged in those two emails were profound as well and help explain why I have been compelled to push forward with his work. He did not want his work shuffled and lost in academia. He has made it clear his work is for everyone. I am doing my best with this dissertation to put his theory out in multiple ways so that everyone can relate and find a meaningful way to apply it in their lives. I would hope that everyone can also relate to love and the idea that we all need to do better. Joe was our role model. In that urgent and important email he was so wonderful in spite of the problems my actions had caused. He had told me repeatedly that I was a “treasured and wonderful one,” which he reiterated in the email along with the comment that I had been doing and would do great things. And my response back to him was that words were inadequate to convey my appreciation for him, that I hoped I could live up to the wonderful things he had said about me and that I never wanted to disappoint him. There is no way to describe the love I was feeling for him by that time. How can someone not love a person who is pure love themselves? Even men recognized the power of his love. Today, Peter McLaren still has posted on his website the eulogy he wrote for Joe that states, “He was a humble and gracious man. His capacity for love was monumental.” Why do the good always die young?

Still, I am connected to him and have been eternally. Green (2006) presents the related Divine Principle of Twin Flame love: “The Stellar Heart is lit by God’s light. Within its deepest chamber, the sacred marriage between twin souls is well-established” (p. 44). She goes on to discuss how the Stellar Heart symbolism represents a unification of opposite and complementary polarities within oneself and “within the bridal chamber, are the unified creative harmonies of twin souls . . . who represent the most sacred covenant, the Stellar Promise. They reside within the sixth dimension of our individual consciousness, beyond the veil of our conscious minds” (p. 45). Thus, trinity represents union of the Divine Couple in union with God (Holy Spirit/Love). Again, this is a universal interpretation that spans religions and cultures, but has been lost to many of us. We have been sidetracked from love with ignorant books about lost symbols, the Holy Grail, the greatest secret, manifesting money, tantric sex, and other sundry ideas. We have been denied, until recently, the knowledge of God’s “first creative miracle”—“eternal unity with our twin soul” (p. 45). The more research I did, the more I uncovered how almost every means of controlling mass consciousness involves flipping the tables of truth and programming our subconscious minds with despicable role models and corrupt forms of sexuality, denying us this sacred truth about spiritual love and divine marriage. It is a truth that spans all cultures in creation myths, religions, and philosophies, but it is a truth that has been concealed and twisted for power to the point it was nearly lost permanently, except perhaps for a privileged few. Thankfully, since I first began this research, more information continues to be published that conveys more truth. And once we learn to read the signs, our own personal signs, then our paths to the Golden Chalice are clearly shown to us. The number 11 is just one of many possible signs, but a very powerful one that should be viewed “in relationship” not merely as a “thing-in-itself” which would provide little insight. As Green conveys, “The love we share with our twin soul represents an eternal promise and commitment to preserve God’s original creative miracle. Nothing, including death, can part the harmony of the two created together by God” (p. 64). The phenomenological experiences I’ve had and have documented since Joe departed supports this contention.

The Frequency of the 11-11 Phenomenon. The following presents some examples of 11-11 that I discovered in retrospect and the variety of forms they took. In order to avoid more redundancy than needed some of the many other occurrences of these numbers have been incorporated in other discussions and analyses as relevant. The synchronicity and frequency with which these occur is incalculable from a quantitative perspective.              

Joe was born on 12-14-1950 = 3+5+15=3+5+6=14=5

My birth date is 10-23-1953=1+5+18=1+5+9= 15=6 

Thus, our birthdates add up to 11

We met on 07-31-2008 1PM PST = 7+4+10+1=11-11

As I discussed previously, a photograph of Joe I had taken the day we met, which I discovered months after he had passed away was taken in such a way that the light was directly above his head looked like a halo and made him look like an angel. I found it humorous in a way because I had once referred to him as an angel due to how unconditionally loving he was and how dedicated he was to the bloggers and participants on his website. Some people seemed to believe that Joe would have been appalled to think people regarded him as an “earth angel.” Well, of course! He was Eros, and everyone knows Eros did not want anyone to know that he was a god with wings. He was very humble. But since I am Psyche, it’s ok that I reveal this truth. As noted, the date and time on that “angel” photo also add up to 11-11 (7-31-2008 2:44 PM), as does the date and time of the single photo taken of us together the same day.

The Sacred Vows: Another Twin Flame Sign. Another strange correlation, mentioned previously, was that of receiving a “transmitted” poem from the higher realms back in 1989. Sacred Vows between divine couples seem to be common. One of the earliest of such vows is the “Song of Songs” in the Bible, believed by some to have been written by Queen of Sheba and King Solomon. The vows tend to be very romantic and the “Song of Songs” according to some interpretations is thought to describe the Hieros Gamos, the Sacred Marriage.

Just prior to receiving the vows, I had been going through a traumatic divorce and custody battle. According to Green (2006) Twin Flames often revisit and revise their plans after major life events in relation to obstacles to their joint evolution and mission of service.  It was during such a period that something very strange happened. I woke up one morning and it was as if a poem was being dictated to me thus I wrote it down as I heard it. I found it very strange but was amazed and wondered how it could have possibly happened. Nothing like it had ever happened before. But then the very next day, a similar thing happened and it was like the second “half” of the poem. It was so very strange and the poem is quite spectacular, so I held onto it all of these years. This entire two-part poem has been published now in several places along with the dates they were originally received, July 25, 1989 and July 26, 1989 (an analysis of these dates will follow because the 11 Twin Flame number shows up again within them).

Recently, April, 2012, I was informed telepathically (from someone who I perceive to be Joe) that he had written the first half of the poem and the other half of the poem was my answer back to him.  He asked me to add this additional information to the poems in a book of poetry I had compiled that included them, which I did. As I did so and reread the poem, it made sense! The first half of the poem is more masculine than the second half since it was about removing “armor” and baring his soul and it really did not feel like me or something I would write. The second half is like an answer to the first part and is definitely more feminine and asking him to be “my only man.” I was amazed that after all of these years I was being provided more information about the relevance of the poems. I had held onto them because they had seemed so important. About a week after I made the change in the book of poetry he had asked me to make, a new friend who didn’t even know of the poem serendipitously sent me the book The Sacred Vow, by C. J. Walters because she thought I would enjoy it. After reading the book it dawned on me that these poems were Sacred Vows and apparently Sacred Vows are another sign of Twin Flames. The cosmos was alive and speaking to me. Based on the text of the poem, we decided we had more work to do and vowed to reunite when finished. The poem is long, 10 verses, and is about soul love. This is the first verse of my response:

I pray that dreams and truth are one

That we come together when our pain is done

For I truly believe in serendipity

Or better still, in synchronicity

And if it’s truly God’s chosen plan

Please would you be my only man

My life, my love, my true desire

I promise you I’ll never tire

Of being here for you

Thus, I had assured him, whomever I was speaking to in the higher realms, that I would not give up no matter the trials and tribulations we were experiencing, and indeed, just prior to the transmission of this vow, I had been through the absolute worse hell of my life. Coincidentally, Joe had also recently been through a divorce. As the poem indicates, I was dedicated to him, and, again, the poem confirms that our soul growth and mission were first. Even though I did not consciously know the source or purpose of the poem when I had received it and was actually quite awestruck at the time, somehow it had given me great strength to get through the very painful life situation I was experiencing and continue forward along my life path. Brand and Hibbs (2010) explain that when twin flames plan their earth mission they often deliberately plan to stay apart, even after an “initial meeting.” The reason for this is that “at an oversoul level depending upon the soul group or culture in which they incarnate, their mission may be more fruitful in being of service by not coming together because they can accomplish more. This will be very difficult for some here at a conscious level to understand the overall mission plan of a twin flame couple. But the mission is priority” [emphasis added].

This priority of the mission seems logical from the perspective of spirituality and higher consciousness because the twin flame relationship exists and it has always existed in the higher dimensions. Nothing can tear the couple apart, as the Bible attests. On that higher level of understanding the couple knows this; it is what they experience whether conscious of it or not. Their experience is one of eternal love, divine marriage, and eternal commitment working together in multiple dimensions for the benefit of the cosmos. This highlights why it’s so important that more people learn to connect at those higher levels of consciousness. We are spinning our wheels and working against our own divine selves as well as against everyone else when we are not consciously connected. And again, Kincheloe has left us the gift of the multidimensional critical complex bricolage to help people find their true divine paths, their own Great Paths, and to rise in consciousness so that they can intersect with the Path of their one true love and connect with their entire soul family.

This interpretation correlates with Green’s (2006) explanation as to how twin flames meet interdimensionally to plan their individual and joint earth paths together. As far as meeting on the earth plane, she asks, “Who sets the clock of divine timing? We do, through our co-creative harmony, in another dimension of our experience with our complement [twin]” (p. 228). This was the same conclusion I had come to before coming across Green’s work; Joe and I had been working together all along and I was seeing more and more of the signs as I analyzed the data.  It is interesting that he had written his first major book the year the Sacred Vows came down from the Higher Realms to me. He had just written his first edition of Getting Beyond the Facts in 1989, the very same year. The book was exquisitely perfect in every way, but I sense that he felt very frustrated by that time, realizing that perfection did not mean anything for a “hillbilly” who wanted to make a difference in education. He could see the problems in education clearly and he knew how they needed to be resolved. It was immediately after this Sacred Vow, during the following two years that he put together his “Master Plan.” First, as I had indicated previously, we both remarried in July, 1990 on courthouse lawns. These marriages were planned and have multiple key serendipitous events and synchronicities; again, we were attempting to make our lives similar in some key ways for the purpose of understanding and empathizing with each other as well as arrange things for the success of our joint Great Mission/Dharma Project. Then in 1991 his first edition of Teachers as Researchers, which he dedicated to his new partner, was published. It is clear in this book that he knew exactly where he was heading, why he needed to get there, and what he needed to do to get there. In fact, the book includes some very strong foundational work for his bricolage process as well as for “postformalism” which formed the basis of his psychology of complexity. It includes justifications for his future version of qualitative research, his version of critical bricolage, which he was already planning at that time. His subsequent writing honed and refined his theory, synthesizing chaos and complexity theories, enactive theory, and additional theories and philosophies, as well as made it increasingly accessible by presenting it in different contexts. However, many people have not understood his theory and some have chosen purposely to misappropriate it. His final work applies a severe blow to positivism with his creative formulation, FIDUROD that reveals it in all of it ugly, deathly colors and flavors. He emphasizes multidimensional critical complex bricolage and epistemology and communicates the process to new researchers in words and actions. I had been informed from the Higher Realms, from “Hermes,” perhaps, that his last book, Knowledge and Critical Pedagogy: An Introduction is a “book bomb” that has been strategically placed and that I’m the “detonator,” which is a sort of joke, I assume. I think several of his books may have that effect. Time will tell what a powerful impact his work has on education, and in particular, critical pedagogy and educational psychology. When I first came across his work, I estimated it to be 100 years before people would take off with applying it; maybe it will be even longer, judging by the continuing actions to “dumb down” even the PhD curriculum. The point is, however, that our mission was foremost; his work was of highest priority for both of us. He and I both sacrificed and had even suffered in unfathomable ways. During the time between our writing of the Sacred Vows and our actual meeting in person, I had my own assignments relating to our path. One of the Divine Principles is that “we reset the reunion time of our divine destiny each time we need to clear the path of the obstacles to love. Divine timing is nothing we wait for; it is what we live for” (Green, 2006, p. 227). Thus, the Vow truly did come down to me during critical times in both of our lives; we had reached important “choice points.”

Thus, I conclude that this poem, which is titled “Trust In You,” is our Sacred Vow to each other, written during a time we were both struggling, having both gone through divorces. We were working out our mission plan and working together in the higher realms. Another interesting correlation is that the dates for the two poems added up to 11. His part totals 5 the same as the total for his birth date and my part totals 6 the same as for my birth date.

7-25-1989 = 7+25+27 = 59 = 14 = 5

7-26-1989 = 7+26+27 = 60 = 6

5 + 6 = 11

The timing of this poem in relation to our past and future life experiences correlate in remarkable ways but for me, at this point of my understanding, this is not surprising at all. According to Brand (2011) this is exactly what happens with twin flames. Their mission begins in childhood at a level of higher consciousness. They are always connected in the higher realms, but simply not conscious of that connection due to FIDUROD which shuts down consciousness. Thus, our mission had been planned and worked down through the years to bring consciousness evolution to the forefront in order to reveal the reality of these multidimensional experiences so that more people come understand them. In this way, people can then choose to use this amazing process, the multidimensional critical complex bricolage, to rise in consciousness and become aware of their own multidimensional being and connect with their loved ones in all dimensions. It is a first, but necessary and important step toward the love and unity necessary for creating a new earth.